i wrote this two years ago when i gave up.

i feel like You're the only one i can run to

when they're against me

and when i'm alone in my darkest moment

You give me the desperation to be in perfect peace

but did i think i'd forget how weak i am?

did i think i wouldn't fall under my own pride?

that i wouldn't try to persuade You to let me leave

so i would be exempt from conviction?

quietly i keep still tonight

an imperfect vanishing mask 

is all that's left to be taken

i promised i'd never leave You

nevermind that i'm not satisfied 

with where i am at in life

but, am i rumored to be, can i say it, carefree

with all i ever fought for in life

only to be rewarded with consequences 

You told me to be broken with the purpose of 

You dying to make me valuable

i wanted You to breath for me too

revisit to a time when i

thought i was deteriorating

but was only being molded

look at the way i used to thrive

a child playing in the light reflections from the window

when i could look inside my chest

and see what made my heart beat

before its too late, Jesus

shatter the walls blocking me from reality

causing my evils to build brick walls between me and You

take back what made my soul survive

i feel so lost 

surrounded by my feeble attempts

to make my intentions even half-clear

i'm only destined to fail on my own

this is my last chance before i die again

let me be perfectly honest, dear children:

it hurts to live a lie