my thoughts on God

out of control.
my thoughts are as such.
distant whispers are as loud
as heartfelt discipline.
i seek and assume
rather than jump and believe.
God, why?
why something so close, so attached?
don't You know
that this has become one with me?
i have put my own piece into the puzzle,
and now you want it gone?
is it because it doesn't fit?
it hurts because i've jammed it in
and now you have to pull to set me free.
free? i don't remember what that is.
You'll have to show me the cover of the box,
one more time.