i watch the ceiling at night.
shadows flicker and fight.
until i close my eyes and find
myself dreaming again.
i hate these lies.
i try to run and hide.
but i know that's just life.
and i cry cold tears inside.
my thoughts are all mine.
they move and they change all the time.
they focus as sharp as a knife.
they cut my heart to pieces.
i ask Jesus for His time.
to fix feet broken and eyes blind.
He asks me instead for my mind.
my will breaks at His feet.
and i still feel it,
this dark blanket inside of my lungs.
but i still reach out,
and remind my mouth to keep moving
and to play the record til the end.
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