another one of those poems.

i heard him honking down the street
and it made me sad
i heard him tapping on my window
and it made me sad
i heard him mention me in conversation
and it made me sad
i wish it had never happened.

stay with me a minute longer,
i feel a little lonely.
how often do i meet people like me?
those who watch the world from inside their mind?
perfectly normal on the outside,
but wanting more on the inside.
a movement, an flutter of an eyelid.
i would even settle for a twitch in your hand.

if i were to be honest, it would break your heart.
i'm not sick or twisted, just brutal in my decisions.

my thoughts on God

out of control.
my thoughts are as such.
distant whispers are as loud
as heartfelt discipline.
i seek and assume
rather than jump and believe.
God, why?
why something so close, so attached?
don't You know
that this has become one with me?
i have put my own piece into the puzzle,
and now you want it gone?
is it because it doesn't fit?
it hurts because i've jammed it in
and now you have to pull to set me free.
free? i don't remember what that is.
You'll have to show me the cover of the box,
one more time.