there are days that i'm not sure; nights that i lack solidity
is there ever a point that i truly know beyond doubt, beyond uncertainty?
i can see separation, it is between me and you
and considering that i can't feel you, see you,
hear you, it certainly causes me despair when
i think of your lack of signature in my unfinished portrait
i ask myself, if this is what life is-
a journey of experiences and serving what we do not see
i'm afraid that my past has built around me a fort,
a wall of "protection" that won't break down to trumpets
i want to wake up from this nightmare
even what (or who?) i thought kept me safe
led me to deeper sleep, or the want for something darker
bitterness is a vise around my lungs and ropes around my neck
i cannot take another deep breath.
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